We knew from the start that if we were to kill Rowen (on Facebook), the killer would need to be a force to be reckoned with. We designed Jessica as a profile murdering machine. An expendable Trojan horse that would allow us access to his soft underbelly. Jessica was this beautiful, yet crazy girl we met briefly in Stellenbosch (a University town near Cape Town). Well at least that's what we told Rowen. He was too drunk to remember.
Realistically, she was put together in a couple of hours with insultingly generic interests and some images from a European social networking website. We used a large Stellenbosch group as a source for her circle of nearly four hundred friends. It turns out having a blond girl with decent cleavage goes a long way to quickly making friends. The fact she was sipping a large beer at Oktoberfest couldn't have hurt either.
Before we knew it, we were getting friend requests, being invited to parties and even received a valentines e-gift from a lovely, yet sad man. The only real maintenance was deleting the odd wall post asking if we'd met before. Anyway, this part of the plot wasn't too challenging. The only difficult part of this process was resisting the urge to reply to all the sleazy guys who wanted to get in Jessica's imaginary pants.
After a few strategically placed mutual friends, Jessica was ready to introduce herself to Rowen (on Facebook). With that out the way, all we needed to do was to get Rowen off Facebook long enough to make his death plausible. We had been planting the seed in Rowen's head that he abused the social networking site, and needed to take (in Rowen's own words) a "Facebook Sabbatical". He ate it up and it all seemed too easy; his death seemed eminent.
As soon as we believed he had kicked the habit, it was time to turn Jessica into Rowen's older sister. The surname change secured a close relation to him and would allow the "memorialize request" to run smoothly. Unfortunately, Rowen relapsed and threw the whole project in jeopardy. Luckily our powers of distraction and manipulation steered him away and his reset password was now in the safe hands of his lovely mother. With complete control, we were left with one last simple task. Rowen's death. In order for this to happen all we needed was evidence of his death. And I will admit, piecing together an obituary in photoshop was a bit creepy, but a small price for the ultimate goal.
Sadly, Jessica will soon be arrested by Facebook for the murder of our friend, Rowen (on Facebook). After a short trial, probably with little fairness, she will be sentenced to death. Execution by electrocution for this crime of passion. She will be missed by her many close Facebook friends.
If you would like to leave a message for Jessica, you can drop her an email at jess@murderbook.org. We'll review them for swearing and hate-speech, and will post the best ones here on the website. Speaking of hate-speech, if you are so inclined, please direct all hate mail to hate@murderbook.org. If it's entertaining, we'll publish it, too.
|
